Stalwart distractions beat the dead horse. Stoic stairs ignore her footsteps. Planting flowers on the graves like nail polish on runs in pantyhose. Saving what can't be saved.
He said pretty girl let me touch your hair because kisses tickle the same in my throat. The headlights laughing while the engine made jokes about her faulty brakes. She didn't care. Sometimes the food is all we want. Taste is irrelevant when you're that hungry.
Barbies dolls tried to teach her, but she was too busy with their careers. Dreamhouses tried to warn her, but she was distracted by plans for a hot tub.
Maybe life is fair and we're the ones who spoil the game. Climbing up those chutes and falling down those ladders. Arrogant enough to think we know the rules.
Saturday
12/01/2007 12:15:00 AM
He wishes he were dead,
I saw him on the horse once in my dreams so ago,
I was walking down a large hill down the road from my house,
He was riding the horse on the road perpendicular to me,
Then suddenly I saw the horse roll over in front of me,
it was the most terrifying scene I had ever seen,
I ran down the road to get help,
There was a car there,
I asked them for their phone,
There was some confusion in the air,
I was worried I would not be able to get the needed help,
There was a problem with the phone,
I woke up before I could know anymore,
She went back to that dream, consciously,
and used a force that would not allow the horse to roll over,
She saved him,
he just doesn't know it yet,
He tells himself things so he doesn't have to see what they really are,
he wants to be saved so badly,
he can't take it anymore,
and yet he won't let her save him,
He wants to think she is still a little girl,
that makes rejecting her easier,
makes her help more bitter,
He wants her to think she is the bigger fool,
that way he doesn't have to admit himself in any folly,
He wishes he understood the food,
he wishes he knew what it was to eat,
to not always be starving,
he wants to not want,
he thinks wanting is wrong,
he thinks anything he wants that might actually be good for him,
that might actually only seem too good to be true,
must be an empty want,
must be something he doesn't need,
must be something Ego created,
She's hungry,
but not for just anything,
she only finds delight in the finest things,
she only finds satisfaction in what is good for her,
she almost knows what it is to be full,
she can live without it,
she forces no one to feed her,
normally she'd rather not take any food that is given to her,
The barbies will continue to play in their fake worlds,
she only knows that they don't know any better,
she is there to help them,
Life is unfair and fair at the same time,
it's all a game,
at just takes lessons to win.
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