In Love with the Nightmare

Just be me for a while. Like you used to do. In a hurricane of alcohol. Both dream and nightmare. If such things are more than our memory of each other. Long curtains thick from ceiling to floor. Pregnant with the views we overlook.

Just say you'll change. Though I know you never will. And we can close our eyes and coax this dream to continue.

Just lie. Pretend you love me and I will believe you. Living the lie for as long as it can stand to live with me. Because alone is no place for a child. And even less a place for a woman. I should know by now how it feels. Or else be able to prove it's untrue.

I know it is.

Not true.

Those angels dressed as demons selling their real estate in the better neighborhoods of hell. Those strangers you tell yourself are friends. This compass you call your heart pointing north forever. And I still don't know where I am.

Because if it was, I would've found it by now. Or it would've found me.

If there's no love for the lost. There's no love for anyone.