I wasn't high enough to look down on him, but he was still far away. To tickle the shutter into moving slow. Spitting out his world in an opiate drool. It's not like I ever opened my eyes. Bothered to look. What came after.
The delirium of widows never to love that much. The caution of funerals not to trust the tiemline we can life.
She was chewing on the cloud over her head. A flavorless bubble gum she'd stolen from the mouth of a former lover. Still as pink as the very first touch. In color and nothing more. She was trying to explain the the formula that proved it was time to let them go. Warped by equations of flesh we faltered and failed to carry the remainder.
She put the eraser to her tongue and knew the taste. A forgiveness so familiar.
A perfect collapse of the senses. And in it, all the gods I'll ever need.
Tuesday
2/13/2007 12:05:00 AM
Sad Labels:
clarity
This is more my kind of thing - which ultimately is all any commenter can say I guess. That middle paragraph is wonderfully saucy - great stuff. And, as usual some great lines: 'the delirium of widows' 'a perfect collapse of the senses'.
I don't know if you know this but you are doing an incredible, seemingly effortless job of breaking the boundaries of metaphor. It's something I attempt and fail at more often than not - you seem to manage it several times in each poem. And, I'm not being sycophantic or trite when I say this either. I recommend a couple of books which would blow your mind and give you more than I can say right now. They are:
Metaphors we Live By - George Lakoff
More Than Cool Reason: A Field Guide to Poetic Metaphor - George Lakoff and Mark Turner.
Look them up on Amazon or something. Very rewarding, mind changing books - well, at least, for me they are.
thanx as always.
have to disagree though. you create incredible imagery in your stories.
i go crazy with the metaphor. too far sometimes, i know. the secret to finding the good ones is not caring about all the crappy ones you have to go through to get to them.
and thank you for the suggestions. will give em a look see.
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