Sad Labels:
sex
Pale camouflage he chose. In stubborn fits of loyalty. While she watched. Swollen with the choice.
Frail lies. She wore. The sequin dresses her thighs would scream. As she strutted through their lives in echoes. Whatever was real about her only trying to remember.
Loose denim not befriending love's requests. The cacophony of verse festering. Maggots on dead files. Labeling the corpse. In phases. In the absence of ample lies. Better friends.
The ash in the corner too close to knowing. The rainbow spent. On all those colors that never come true.
Hello, I'm just a passer-by who happens to stumble upon your blog. I'm posting this comment now that I've read several of your entries, and I hope you do not take offence. This is not a personal attack; I'm just trying to provide a critical viewpoint.
You have refreshing contents for your stories, but I feel that the excessive use of full-stops is unnecessary and unartistic. Yes, it has become the signature of your writings. And yes, I am actually liberal enough to accept the manipulation and defiance of grammatical laws to achieve certain aesthetic ends, but I feel that to exercise a little restraint instead of littering full-stops everywhere in your sentences would actually improve the quality of your works a lot. I understand that sometimes the creative use of puntuation marks can evoke intended emotions within the readers, but to adopt it excessively would only achieve the opposite result. Readers begin to feel indifferent to your constant creative use of punctuation marks, to the extent that they no longer find it creative and any intended reaction such a form of usage is designed to elicit in the first place would eventually lose all meaning and power. Anything in excess is never desirable.
Just my two cents' worth.
appreciate your input. i see what you're trying to say. however, the excessive amounts of stops aren't a creative technique. they are how i want the words to be read.
although, i agree, it's probably a good idea to try to vary my methods from time to time. stretch myself more.
Hi, the first comment was left by me. I have a blog, feel free to drop by. Any input is welcome.
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