Deja Vu

A long time ago I had something to say. Shame I never did. The porch fairy would pause under the halogen to count the seconds between the last and the next knock. And I would be her metronome. As she struggled to keep in time with what had stopped.

It seemed as good a night as any to lay there and be entertained. Scooping the ice cream hard from the carton. Staring at the bowl. Wondering if it would ever melt. Whether or not I'd be able to wait.

I tried to say it nicely, but I was never good at that.

When I was young enough. And life was still a quest. Gravel punching the teeth on tires spinning fast. It seemed there was a lot to have. And even more to want.

There were even moments that it seemed I had it.

If only I'd known then what it was.