Been thinking a lot about McMarried lately. I wrecked that so good.
But then I'm not sure it was all me. I had issues it's true. But I never left him. He left me. I understand the reasons. That's all good. But then why come back only to leave again?
The things I said, you'd hear them before. They never made you leave until you had little to gain from staying.
That's who I am. Don't try to socialize with me sober. Especially when there are feelings involved. Not good feelings of loss.
I told him to call me back when I'd had enough beers and I honestly thought he would. Cause I meant what I said. I always have. I'm not much of a girl like that.
I can't do it sober. With him or anyone else. All that pretending life is good.
But after enough beers I miss them. The people and all the moments they spawned. And I can love them still without having to lose all over again everything that's already been lost.
Wednesday
11/16/2005 12:03:00 AM
Thanks for posting. It sounds all too familar. Been there, done that, got the beer-stained t-shirt. Hope your trail of breadcrumbs leads you home in time. Meantime, take care.
thanx. i appreciate it.
Thanks for posting.
ICU,
JJ
What a great post. You put words to my own feelings. I am really enjoying your work. Thank you...
Anon 2 - Sorry to hear you're experiencing feelings similar to my own, but glad you're enjoying my efforts.
Take care.
Nmamfqimsh - You're welcome, I guess... I'm not really sure what your comment meant.
Just wanted to respond:
I have only recently admitted that I am an alcoholic/drug addict because of precisely what you said. I couldn't deal with people sober. Couldn't talk unless I was high. No one loves me when I'm sober, right? I'm more fun drunk. Then again, it got to the point that I didn't like me when I was drunk. Or high. I hate myself period. Just wanted you to know, been there done that.
OK. Gotcha.
Good Luck.
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