Germinating

Maybe I haven't made myself clear. I don't have a problem with stopping the drinking. I have a problem convincing myself I want to stop drinking.

Granted life isn't all that great this way. There are pros and cons. But life before. Not better really. More cons. Less pros.

Sad really. That drinking should make a life better. How pathetic said life must've been that this would be an improvement.

Well, not everyone is born attractive and well inclined to socialize. There are probably home schooled children who have more social skills than I do.

It hasn't really been helping me lately. If anything it's been facilitating my antisocial tendencies.

I figure I'm always going to be alone so the sooner I start getting used to it the better. I think there's a limited amount of happiness to go around. And the rest of us must live with the opposite. Because that is the balance of the universe. You need both rain and sunshine to grow the plants. And life needs both joy and grief to make it happen.

Fish lay hundreds of eggs because instinct and evolution tells them only a small portion will survive. When we set out to grow something we know we must plant a lot of seeds. Because we know only a few of them will actually live.